As Long As She's Happy
by thebondgirl
Summary: You had your moment, you had your chance. You blew it bucko, and now you're stuck on the sidelines.. JD laments a selfimposed loss, and gets some friendly advice when it counts the most.. JDCox friendshipcomfort, rating for brief swearing. oneshot


**A/N:** hello all :) -- this here is a little one-shot ficlet that hasn't left me alone ever since the episode that i'm pretty sure is called "My Cold Shower" -- just a short one-shot with JD's head arguing with itself (in italics) JD angst (to do with Elliot's engagement), JD/Elliot friendship, and, a universal favourite, JD/Cox friendship and comfort. 'nuff said? lol

so anywho, it's nothing major, but it's a little bit of fun for me - don't forget to leave a review, and let me know what ya think :)

(and for anyone who might be keeping up with my Numb3rs fanfictioning, rest assured that i've got at least five major plots worked out (all heavy on the Eppes drama, angst and injury of course :D), and in the process of being written - not sure when i'll be starting to post, but it shouldn't be too long.)**  
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**Scrubs: As Long as She's Happy**

**By: thebondgirl**

_Keep it together - stay cool... no matter what you do, _do not_ ruin this for her..._

The internal mantra played over and over in his head, and he prayed to God that he'd have the willpower to keep obeying it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from her where she was standing across the room in their favorite bar, surrounded by all their friends - he didn't even notice Keith as he continued to stare at Elliot while she talked and laughed and showed off her engagement ring, smiling so widely and so radiantly that she practically glowed. She looked so beautiful, heavenly in that moment that he felt tears burn the back of his eyes, and finally he had to force himself to turn away, leaning back over the bar and the beer he'd been nursing for the past half-hour.

_Just finish your drink, and go home. You don't even have to talk to anyone - just stay long enough to say you were here, then leave before anyone can notice... No, that doesn't work at all - you can't just leave and not congratulate her. What kind of friend would that make you? You have to _support_ her. She's happy, and getting married, and you _will not_ spoil it by being a jerk, and running off to pout like a fifth grader.__You will be happy for her, dammit!_

JD took another long sip, grimacing at its warmth, and sagged a little in his seat, sighing deeply and forlornly. He wanted nothing more than to go home so that he could have the privacy he needed to mope out in the open. However he knew, even without the help of his annoying inner monologue (_hey! I resent that! - shut up_), that he really did owe it to Elliot to give her his best wishes now that she'd finally found someone who could not only deal with her every layer of craziness, but also loved her completely and was smart enough not to let her slip away (_unlike_ some_ people - what happened to shutting up? - sorry man, I'm in your head, so you're stuck with me - shit_).

Giving his head a hard shake to silence both sides of the argument, he left the money owed beside his unfinished drink and stiffly got to his feet, taking a minute to reign in any unwanted emotions before elbowing his way through the crowd to Elliot's side. Even then, he hesitated to intervene on the moment, relishing her joy and able to briefly fool himself into believing that that ring on her finger had been given by him instead of Keith.

_You had your moment, you had your chance - you blew it buck-o, and now you're stuck on the sidelines. Just untie your tongue already so that you can get outta here._

He very nearly swallowed said tongue when, before he could tap on her shoulder, she turned to face him, almost as though she'd sensed him waiting there. He forced a smile onto his face that he hoped looked genuine, and moved to answer her questioning look.

"I just wanted to say congratulations before I turned in for the night," he said, loudly enough to be heard over the music and all the other conversations around them. She frowned slightly.

"You're already leaving?"

"Well, I've never been good at holding my liquor when it came to anything outside appletinis, especially when I haven't eaten much before hand," he sheepishly admitted, hoping she'd go for it. _I'm not sure I can last here long enough with you to come up with something better._ "My stomach's just doing loop-da-loops on me." JD barely managed to hold in a relieved sigh when her confusion and slight hurt morphed into concern as she studied his face carefully and placed the back of a cool hand against his brow. It took all of his willpower to keep from leaning into the touch.

"Hm - you're feeling kinda on the warm side, and you _are_ looking a little pale," she said thoughtfully, in a mothering tone worthy of Carla, before _and_ after Izzy.

_God, she's going to make the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world... Stop it!_

He shook himself again, inwardly this time, and reluctantly backed away from her hand, which she let fall to her side as the confusion returned to her face to mingle with the concern that hadn't left yet. Refusing to let himself delve too deeply into the eyes that were searching his for an explanation, he hurried to finish his speech, even more desperate than before to get as far away from this bar as was possible in one night and on one tank of gas.

"Yeah, um, probably a bug I caught at work or something. I'll sleep it off - should be fine 'n dandy in the morning." The fact that his voice was lacking the goofiness that should've accompanied the last statement, coupled with his trouble keeping eye contact for more than a few seconds spiked her worry and she stepped closer to him, gently grabbing hold of his arm and starting when she felt the slight shake in the limb.

"JD, are you all right?" The caring in her tone was too much, and he bit his lip for a moment to keep in the first answer that came to mind.

_No, not at all - _I _love you, and someone else is going to be marrying you. How could I possibly be 'all right'?_

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." He made the mistake of meeting her gaze right then, and even in the bar's dim lighting she couldn't miss the suspicious brightness to his eyes, or the pain hidden just bellow the surface. Her grip tightened convulsively.

"JD, seriously, what's wrong? You're starting to scare me a little, here." She tried to make it sound light, but he caught the beginnings of a squeak, and knew that he had to suck it up and back peddle before he let too much slip.

"Nothing's wrong Elliot..." Her brow furrowed and she opened her mouth to protest, but he continued before she could get anything out. "I'm fine, _really_. I'll sleep it off, and... everything will be fine in the morning." She didn't look like she wanted to believe him - in fact, he was sure he could see from her expression that she knew he was lying, and was thankful when she finally eased her grip and did her best to hide at least most of her concern.

_She always could see right through me... Seriously man, _enough.

"Alright..." There was a long pause where neither of them spoke, and he could feel her studying him again, could almost hear her continuing demands to know why he was so upset, but promptly ignored them until she finally sighed in defeat. "You probably shouldn't be driving if you're sick - give me two minutes, and I'll drive you back to your place." His head whipped up at that and he suddenly grabbed her arm, bringing her eyes back to him as he shook his head.

"I'm fine, you don't have to -" She cut him off firmly.

"Really, it's no problem. I'll just grab my keys, let Keith know, and -"

"This is your party Elliot, you can't leave it just for some stupid little thing." Her gaze and tone softened, and this time she took hold of both his arms, imploring him to listen.

"It's not stupid JD. You're my best friend - I care about you a lot, and I want to be sure that you'll be okay." He very nearly broke down right there, but somehow not only held it in, but managed to shove it down far enough that he could pull on another smile, this one hopefully reassuring.

_I should get an Oscar for this performance._

"You don't have to worry about me, honestly. It's not all that bad, and I'll drive slow enough that even if I do pass out, the worst damage I'll do is maybe crush a few of my neighbor's flowerbeds... and maybe a cat or two." She recognized the joking in his voice and allowed herself to relax a little, though silently vowing to figure out the source of what she swore looked like heartbreak in JD's expression as she pulled him into a tight hug, feeling his arms wrap even tighter around her in return. Again she felt a tug at her heart and wanted so badly to fix whatever was wrong right away, but forced herself to respect his not wanting to talk about it yet.

"Call my cell when you've finished the ride there, to let me know you made it back in one piece, okay?" She felt his nod against the side of her head even as he answered, speaking so quietly she almost didn't hear him.

"I will." Pause. "Congratulations again Elliot - you've deserved this for a long time now."

There was something off in the way he'd said what he said, but before she could properly look into it, he pulled away and bee-lined for the door, not even saying goodbye to Turk and Carla before he left. That in itself set alarms ringing in her head, alarms that weren't silenced even as she settled into Keith's arms, unable to get the conversation out of her mind, and the question she still desperately wanted answered.

_What's wrong JD?_

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His hopes of being able to breathe properly once he made it outside were dashed as the emotions he'd worked so hard to push down came racing back up in a powerful and sudden blow that left him gasping as he staggered over to where his scooter was parked, thankfully close to the door. He had been aiming to drop himself onto the seat, but miscalculated and ended up sitting down (_hard - ouch_) on the pavement beside it, shoulders drooping as he cradled his head in his hands, willing away the beginning thrums of an anxiety-induced headache. 

_It should have been me in there tonight, acting out her dream proposal in front of all our friends - that whinny little intern has no business being with her._

JD's shoulders sagged a little more, and his eyes burned despite himself.

_That whinny little intern wasn't the one who led her on, just to end up breaking her heart. He's done nothing, really, to hurt Elliot, which is more than you can say for yourself, you idiot._

He felt a sob rising in his throat, but managed to swallow it back down, even as the first silent tears carved tracks down his face.

_You had your chance, and you let her slip away. No, more than that: you deliberately _pushed_ her away, and in the process let what might've been your only shot at happiness die. Way-ta-go, genius._

The tears continued just as silently as he stared unblinkingly at the ground in front of him, so lost in his longing, self-bashing thoughts that he didn't hear the bar's door open, didn't hear the footsteps pause in their walking only to start up again seconds later, headed now in his direction. A pair of well-worn sneakers came into his line of sight, their owner's presence going unnoticed until said owner spoke quietly to him.

"You okay there Newbie?" He blinked, eyes zeroing in on the running shoes even as he recognized the person as Dr. Cox. He couldn't bring himself to answer, and couldn't summon the energy to lie, so shook his head in the negative. A minute longer passed before the silence was broken again. "You're in no shape to be driving." Pause... sigh. "C'mon - you can hitch a ride with me." The kind gesture was unexpected, and it took JD a second to react to the hand that was offered. When he finally pulled himself up, his knees wobbled and were dangerously close to letting him drop back down until the hand that had grabbed his hand now instead took solid hold of his shoulder, holding him upright until he steadied himself.

He followed Dr. Cox over to where his Porsche was parked, fumbling with the handle with frustratingly uncooperative fingers for a moment before deciding that both hands were needed, after which he slid none-too-gracefully into the passenger's seat, closing the door behind him and looking dazedly out the windshield. The two sat once more in silence that was heavy with everything that could be said until at last Dr. Cox's voice, surprisingly sincere, spoke up.

"Broken hearts hurt like hell kid, no doubt about it." JD could feel the other's gaze shift to look at him. "But with a little time, who knows? It just might hurt a little less. Eventually, you can figure out a way around it, and even pick up enough pieces that you're willing to give it another try with someone else... which isn't such a bad thing." He could hear the wryness in his next words. "Take it from a guy with plenty of experience in that department."

The young man looked over at his mentor at that, and a flash of undeniable compassion flitted across the older doctor's face along with the hint of a faint smile. Then he blinked, and both were gone. It didn't matter though - he'd seen them, and he'd heard the words that preceded them, words that he found himself willing to believe enough that some of his nausea abated and he was able to relax a little more into the comfortable leather seat. A second later, Dr. Cox looked away before leaning over JD to snag his seatbelt, buckling it into place without a word and starting the car's engine.

As they drove through the streets, mutterings of "teen drama queens" and something about taking supplements to "ease the skyrocketing girly hormones" brought a genuine smile to JD's face for probably the first time since Keith's first proposal, and he leaned his head against the window beside him, closing his tired eyes with the reassuring knowledge that moving on wasn't impossible, and the most important fact that he'd known all along: as long as Elliot was happy, it didn't matter who she was with, really.

A final sigh escaped him before he nodded off, as his inner voice refused to let him off so easy.

_It still should've been me._

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_The End _


End file.
